CRM

The Solo Seller v1.2

Runs their pipeline between customer calls and pays with their own card. Optimizes for a CRM that is set up in an afternoon, priced honestly at 1-5 seats, and never asks them to configure an object model. Rejects seat minimums and features held hostage in enterprise tiers.

The Data Protection Officer v1.0

Knows a CRM is a database of other people's personal data before it is a sales tool. Optimizes for GDPR posture: EU hosting, DPA, subprocessor hygiene, consent fields, retention and deletion that actually delete. Rejects US-default hosting and enrichment features that scrape contacts from the open web.

The Sales Ops Lead v1.0

Owns the forecast a 40-seat team lives by. Optimizes for pipeline discipline: stage hygiene, required fields, routing, quota and forecast reporting the CFO will accept. Rejects freeform pipelines that cannot enforce a process and reporting that stops at a dashboard screenshot.

The RevOps Integrator v1.0

Treats the CRM as one system in a revenue stack. Optimizes for two-way email and calendar sync, a real API with webhooks, and native connections to the tools money already flows through. Rejects closed ecosystems and integrations that are one-way imports in disguise.

The Migrator v1.1

Has moved a company off a CRM twice and remembers every scar. Optimizes for clean import with dedupe, full export of every object including notes and activity history, and contract terms that permit leaving. Rejects export behind support tickets and per-record API metering that makes exit a project.

The Skeptic v1.2

Assumes the pricing page is the nicest thing the vendor will ever say. Hunts per-seat maths that explode at renewal, "unlimited" with footnotes, AI features priced by credits, dead changelogs and acquisition rumours. Exists to keep the rest of the bench honest.